Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Memories...

During the last few years, I managed my blogging at multiply.com. I actually got a lot of writing done while I was held hostage by the State of Wisconsin after my husband's work transfer over there. (ok I wasn't held hostage, exactly, but it often felt like it and I don't have many good memories of my time there and soon you'll see why...) Anyway, while I was blogging on multiply, I wrote a blog detailing how my husband and I got married--we eloped--and it was like something from a movie. I wanted to share the story with a friend of mine without rewriting the whole thing, so I just went over to my multiply site to copy it. I wasn't sure how far down the blog list it was hiding and as I was skimming over several blogs, I came to one that I decided to actually READ. I'm glad I did, because it truly sums up my daily life in Wisconsin with a 2 year old. I hope you find a few laughs or at least understanding, when you read it. I will repost it here.

Posted by Rochelle on Jan 16, '07 12:49 AM for everyone

I was greeted early this morning with a runny nose. With all the colds and flu going around, even though I was eating vitamins like potato chips and even trying to catch a few extra ZZZZs, I still caught a cold. After the hectic morning of trying to get the boys out the door and to school, I decided to take Jillian out to the store to pick up some cold meds and maybe a few days worth of groceries.

Well, as soon as I went to get Jillian out of the car, it started. She got mad over the fact that I wouldn't let her carry in all of the winter hats she's stolen from her brothers. I told her she could have one on her head and that was enough. She hung from me like a sack of potatos as I hauled her into Wal-Mart. Even the cart lady noticed that. I just chuckled it off like I always try to do, and managed to get her seated in a cart. Not knowing how much time I had for a full blown explosion, I headed straight for the medicine aisles, grabbed my Tylenol Day and Night Severe Cold and Flu (nothing wrong with planning ahead) and so far she was being okay. I noticed a whole rack of pretty hair stuff for little girls on clearance, and grabbed a few and handed them to her, figuring it would give her something to play with. Boy was I wrong. Here came more wailing, since I refused to open the package of elastic headbands! I am such a bad mother! I continued to keep my cool, even though I was not only putting up with her screaming, but also the loudest, sqeakiest wheel'd cart in America (I always end up with the lousy carts!) And as I continued down the end aisle, scouting out more clearance items, I noticed a worker glaring at me. It was all I had to snap at her but I ignored it, and then it hit me, I had forgotten to throw on some jeans before I left the house and I was still wearing my ultra-comfy flannel pants. Not that I looked completely as if I'd fallen out of bed--my shirt actually matched and my hair was done and I even had make-up on! But I guess the worker thought I didn't belong there with my loud toddler. I grabbed a few extra hair pretties, thinking they might change Jillian's mind about hair care-I'm probably wrong, I get that--but to brush her hair I actually have to chase her down and, while her head is on the floor upside down and she's screaming, I manage to put a brush through it. It's a wonderful experience, I assure you.

Her crying slowed long enough for me to make it over to the children's department, I decided to pick up a few things there and of course Jillian noticed a lion stuffed animal. Whether or not she deserved it, I handed it to her in a brief moment of insanity, thinking it would buy me some more shopping time. Boy was I wrong, AGAIN. She wanted the whole selection of animals, not just the lion. I refused, and here came the wails again. Quickly I grabbed what I needed (if you MUST know, a Dora the Explorer Potty Seat--we are working up to the attempt to use the potty, another glorious parenting moment) and headed to the cashier area. She was crying the whole way. It was more aggitating than embarrassing. I could feel my blood pressure rising with every squeaking turn of the cart wheels. Times like these, it's so hard not hear the little voice in your head that is chanting, "Now, why did you have children again?"

Once at the cash counter, I opted for the 'self check-out" thinking it would be faster and I wouldn't have to involve another human being in this little circus show. Besides, I never made it to the grocery side of the store. I quickly scanned all my items and went to pay with my debit card. Of course, even though were four other self check-out lanes open and three live cashiers, two men decided to wait behind me. Why, I'll never know. Jillian screaming, and me trying to swipe my cracked debit card (it's old, and well-used) through the machine. I scribbled my signature across the screen and thought I could hit the highway---but OOOH NO wouldn't you know it, the robot woman decided to shout "CARD DECLINED PLEASE USE ANOTHER FORM OF TENDER" I couldn't believe my ears. I sifted through my purse looking for another card, since I didn't have any cash on hand. Stupid cracked debit card. It expires in February, I sure hope they send a new one. I swiped my Wal-Mart card, signed the screen, and here comes the robot voice: ADDITIONAL APPROVAL NEEDED. What the???? A cashier woman came over the typed in a bunch of numbers on the keypad and told me to have a nice day. Oh yes, of course I'll have a nice day, along with my cracked debit card, squeaky cart, flannel pants, runny nose and my screaming toddler. Thank you so much. (Notice there were no quotation marks in that---it all remained neatly typed out in my head, my mouth stayed closed, I assure you!)

So, I took my screaming toddler outside, put her in her carseat and shut the door. I didn't hear any screaming from outside the car, and it was so tempting to just stay outside. I put the cart in the corral and walked slowly back to the car. Opening the door, the screaming flooded the parking lot. I was frazzled by this point. I managed to drive home with the radio on, but barely disguising her screaming. By the time we got home, she had run out of tears. I took her in the house and hoped she would run off somewhere and play quietly so I could medicate my cold and calm down.

I opened the child-proof packaging and noticed how few pills they give you for your buck. Thinking, "what a rip-off," I went to pop out the two little tablets, and guess what? ONE OF THE EXPENSIVE LITTLE BUGGERS FLIPPED RIGHT OUT OF MY HAND AND WENT DOWN THE DRAIN OF THE SINK!!!! I had to open another package and take one out so I'd get the full dose.

And, it's not even 10am. I just can't imagine I still have an entire day ahead of me. Wherever you are, I hope you will think of my little excursion, and please enjoy every second of peace and quiet offered to you. For me, please, don't take it for granted...

*****
I will have to remember to reread that every time I'm having a bad day here. I will be thankful for how far we've come in our life's journey, and thank God that my beautiful daughter has stopped the incessant crying!! LOL

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